tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post7907916318623758341..comments2023-10-11T02:09:22.882-07:00Comments on Woman.Anonymous7: What does I love you mean?woman.anonymous7http://www.blogger.com/profile/09360902845606513227noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post-48206095079353153702007-10-28T02:06:00.000-07:002007-10-28T02:06:00.000-07:00Crystal - I've been thinking about relapses with H...Crystal - I've been thinking about relapses with Husband's sex addiction. What I've come to think is that it would be very difficult for me, and that my response would depend on the circumstances. <BR/><BR/>However, I also know that Husband's addiction has almost nothing to do with me in many ways, and I think there is something healthy about not trying to connect something to myself that has little or nothing to do with me. We talked about this in therapy today and my therapist told me that is called "differentiation" in shrink terms. <BR/><BR/>We also discussed how there's a fine and fuzzy line between healthy differentiation and unhealthy codependency, so I think I'd get a lot of help and support if I ever have to navigate a relapse into sex addiction behaviors - particularly if it went beyond early inner circle behaviors like buying pornography or going to a strip club.<BR/><BR/>I hope I never have to face that particular pain.woman.anonymous7https://www.blogger.com/profile/09360902845606513227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post-85432849079285706922007-10-22T11:26:00.000-07:002007-10-22T11:26:00.000-07:00WomanAnonymous7, you never answered my question ab...WomanAnonymous7, you never answered my question about relapsing, not sure if you noticed it or not.<BR/><BR/>Hope your trip was great.Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16297525904374497184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post-31892333694960971902007-10-14T20:19:00.000-07:002007-10-14T20:19:00.000-07:00"It doesn't mean I won't lie to you. Doesn't mean ...<I>"It doesn't mean I won't lie to you. Doesn't mean I won't hurt you. Or that I'll love you or be here tomorrow. It doesn't mean I'll provide for you, or I'll always consider the impact of my actions on you. So what does it mean?"</I><BR/><BR/>Oh amen! That's been one of the hardest things for me to deal with upon learning that my husband has a SA - the wounds of the betrayal. The entire foundation of my life has been rocked. Being forced to realize that things I <B>believed</B> and <B>knew</B> to be true (who my husband was, the sanctity of our marriage vows, my husbands' love for me (etc.)) were not what I thought has been incredibly overwhelming.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://thehurtingheart.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">The Hurting Heart</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post-35262681193905540822007-10-13T06:02:00.000-07:002007-10-13T06:02:00.000-07:00Recent relapse? I don't mean this in a mean way at...Recent relapse? I don't mean this in a mean way at all, but I honestly don't know how you can put up with that.<BR/><BR/>WomanAnonymous7 - would you stay if your husband had relapses?Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16297525904374497184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345462981115809499.post-89670010551306948162007-10-12T15:32:00.000-07:002007-10-12T15:32:00.000-07:00:) I was thinking of physics last night. As for t...:) I was thinking of physics last night. As for the rest, I don't know...<BR/><BR/>When my husband was telling me about his most recent relapses, he said, "This is where I want to be, here with you." And I said, "I believe that" and started to cry. I don't know why that is the only thing I believe or that believing that makes me feel loved, but it's true.Mary P Jones (MPJ)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10251787926841410344noreply@blogger.com