The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Yes, Joe - I'm letting go

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

So much of my pain comes from thinking about the past, worrying about the future, and fantasizing about how life might have been different. I find my joy in the moments when I'm able to release all those other moments and center myself in the moment at hand.

If I breathe deeply of the present moment and allow myself to accept the path that I'm on rather than to resist it by pondering the other tenses of life - what has been, what might have been, what might be - when I accept the life that IS in front of me gratitude rises up like a big warm sun in the winter and thaws the parts of me that are frozen by fear. In that gentle warmth the petals of peace and joy unfold.

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.” - Joseph Campbell

Friday, December 4, 2009

Pulling into the present (again)

Since I wrote about creating a deep, connected, loving partnership with this new man who stands where the man I married once stood I've had more peace, both in my relationship and in my self.

When I focus on connecting with Husband, he responds and I feel the possibility of our future together. When I freak out and withdraw into thinking about the past, I feel alone and isolated from him.

It's a hard line, because fully processing what happened is healthy and valuable to me, and seems to have its own timeline.

But when I can recognize that I'm feeling a way that doesn't serve me, that isn't uplifting or moving my life forward, I can try this technique of focusing on creating a deep loving connection with this person in my life now who wants to do just that from his side as well.

It seems to have made a big difference in how I've been feeling.