The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Friday, April 9, 2010

How about a NEW sexual revolution?

As I read about Tiki Barber and the guy in China who is sparking discussion about sex parties as a personal freedom issue, it strikes me that we need a new sexual revolution.

I'm all for free speech, and prohibition doesn't seem to work well, but the impact of "casual" sex, multiple sex partners and the full menu of sex-related things available via the internet needs to be part of a big, frank public conversation: Not the morality of it, but the individual and social impact of it, the mental state of the people who participate in it, etc.

We need to be talking about the truth of things like casual sex, anonymous sex, multiple sex partners, cybersex and pornography: That they're fantasy, that healthy sexuality is connected with intimacy, that while we have biological urges we also have brains evolved enough to act responsibly, and that images that turn human beings into sexual objects create damage by teaching people that it's just fine to decouple intimacy from sex. I think, at least in the US, this is more of a health issue for society than a personal freedom issue.

So maybe the next question is, what's the new movement going to be called? T-shirts that say "PORN SUCKS" would certainly start conversation, but on the other hand, I don't want my kid asking me what porn is. So I need to think of a more child-friendly name for this new movement.


Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Totally agreed. I see this as a health issue, not as a moral or personal freedom issue. It distresses me when people equate the opinion that tons of casual sex and porn can be damaging to intimacy with making moral judgments and mandating what other people can do with their personal lives. They are so not the same thing.

Bernadine said...

I totally agree with your thinking! Whatever you decide to name your revolution, please let us know. I'll buy that t-shirt, and wear it proudly.