Five years later

I noted a couple days ago that the anniversary of one of the most traumatic days of my life passed unmarked and unnoticed.

That's healing. And for that I am so grateful.

Who should I trust?

After quite a long upward cycle, I'd become complacent about spiritual practice, and had been lulled into the idea that I could begin to trust Husband. Out of habit, longing, wishful thinking, or something equally beguiling, I had put my trust in the wrong place.

I had lost sight of a realization I've had before: The most important thing for me to trust is Higher Power. The next most important thing for me to trust is myself.

Why do I think Higher Power and me are the best places for my trust?

I trust Higher Power because taking the perspective that I am loved and cared for no matter what and believing (pretending, acting-as-if) there is a higher purpose and a positive purpose for whatever circumstance I find myself in give me the will to look for the growth opportunity, and the strength of heart to take action.

I trust myself because I have been learning to do so. And the more I practice, the better I'll get. And I want to learn to place the greatest trust in myself, because I'm willing to assume the greatest responsibility for my happiness and well-being.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "With freedom comes responsibility."

I've found that with a willingness to take responsibility for my own experience of life comes freedom.