The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Duchovny, Spitzer, Murray, (Clinton, etc...hello?)

Surfing the comments out there it's evident that dispite some very public revelations this year, sex addiction continues to ride very below the radar and be misunderstood. And I don't read anything about people connecting the dots between addicts - seems like it's just another story about a man cheating on his wife, and of course people can't understand why because "she's so hot."

Of course, if your wife isn't hot, I guess everybody would understand then, huh?

This time around the story doesn't bring edge of pain that it did with Spitzer, which is good progress to report at the 1-year-and-3-months-since-discovery mark.

I really feel like I've turned the corner in my ability to consider that Husband is a different person. He says that he is, and intellectually I understand how that would be possible given the research I've done. But my body has resisted until recently. Not that I've resisted having sex, but I haven't felt anything close to the trust I had before in my gut.

Lately I feel as though I've let go of something physically. I can't name it, but it was something I was holding on to, or something that was gripping me.

Whatever it is, it feels like a gateway to the next level of healing.

That feels like a good place to be.

5 comments:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I'm glad you're feeling in a good place.

And I so agree. Sex addiction is so misunderstood and still not in the mainstream. I'm glad and sad each time it appears in the news -- glad that the word is getting out there (however garbled) but sad for the families involved.

Willow said...

I had the same feeling as you - less pain for myself personally upon seeing one more story of sexual addiction in the news. I too saw it as a good sign because I was able to really think about their story and wonder about their hearts and souls. I realized that I really am starting to heal a little. Nice to see it echoed in the words of another. I always enjoy your posts.

FI0NA said...

I always enjoy your posts too. So are you trusting more, or less, or differently?

woman.anonymous7 said...

Well...I'd say my gut is considering trusting. And I'm definitely feeling a little uneasy about it. (See today's post for more on that.)

Thank you all for visiting. The feeling of camararaderie that I have with our online community is an ongoing source of support and inspiriation.

davka said...

the healing journey is slow and subtle, huh?