Prior to my adventures as the partner of a sex addict, I'd never been to any kind of therapy. I thought it was something that everybody should have the opportunity to try, but I'd just never gotten around to it.
Now, life is a therapy buffet. The latest dish I'm sampling is a therapy group for partners of sex addicts. It differs from S-Anon meetings in that it's moderated by a therapist who specializes in sex addiction, and discussion and response (although not advice-giving) are encouraged.
It's a small group of women, culturally, racially, economically similar, but different in our individual stories. It feels like going at it from this different angle may allow me to access some things I've been trying to get to.
We'll be studying the book Mending the Shattered Heart, which I haven't yet read.
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This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.
Resources
- What is sex addiction?
- Dr. Patrick Carnes' Web Site
- Sex, Love and Addiction - Dr Rob Weiss Podcast
- Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Don't Call It Love by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Seeking Integrity
- The Center for Healthy Sex
- S-Anon spouse/partner/family support group
- Co-SLAA spouse/partner/family support group
- CoSA spouse/partner/family support group
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron
- No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Writings of Anthony de Mello, SJ
- Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki
- Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik
- After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Blog Archive
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2008
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June
(16)
- Even with sobriety, there are ups and downs
- Sometimes I fantasize about getting back at him
- Suspicious emails
- Here come the brides
- Group therapy
- Nude scenes
- A relationship between hatred and fear
- How things are different, and what I'm planning fo...
- Last day of work
- Is it possible I'm coming to not regret the past?
- Kung Fu Panda as it relates to addcition, betrayal...
- Big leap!
- Getting others to do what you want
- On the benefits of staying
- Something to come to terms with
- One Year Later
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June
(16)
About Me
- woman.anonymous7
- Woman. Late 50s. In a committed relationship with Husband for 34 years. Married in 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered for the first time June 1, 2007.
The Point of Marriage
"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Posts
5 comments:
Congratulations on the opportunity for group therapy. I look forward to hearing more about how effective it is. I've never done it, but thought it would be helpful, just as now and then I think a lot of things would be helpful, but it takes me a while to get to them. God's time I suppose.
I noticed that the book you are working with is edited by Stephanie Carnes. I have to assume that is Pat Carnes' wife? I didn't realize that she was also in the field of sex addiction and runs some of the programs at Pine Grove.
Thanks for opening the door for more study.
I recently read this book--it was good, though the second half of the book dealt with things that don't relate to my situation (men who act out with other men, pedophilia, etc.).
However, I'm now reading "Escape From Intimacy: Untangling the 'Love' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships" by Anne Wilson Schaef and it's the best sex-addiction book I've read so far.
It sounds like your new group could be helpful.
I wish you the best on this new opportunity!
I'd love to go to a group like that, but couldn't find any in my area the last time I looked. I find 12 Step meetings too triggering lately -- I want to fix all those codies who are doing it wrong! ;) I think a therapist moderator would work. Maybe it's time to look again!
I too would love to find a group. One of my good program buddies does group therapy & loves it. Maybe I'll look into it at some point.
I am getting ready to take another divorce recovery class that is moderated by a family therapist. It was great the first time thru so I'm really looking forward to taking it again.
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