It's that time of year, and we had a wedding to attend this weekend. Two old friends of ours. The wedding was simple, the vows beautiful, and the whole experience much less painful for me than weddings last year at this time.
As I listened to the vows about passing through doubt and disappointment and stepping into the light of faith, I thought about how much that is part of what it takes to make it for the long haul. When they said to each other, "I place my trust in you and I give you my heart..." I wondered what that meant to them, and how it would play out over the coming years.
Weddings still bring up a lot of questions, but fortunately not so much pain. More signs of healing and recovery.
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Weddings are hard -- I think they're getting better, but they continue to be triggering for me. I always find myself wondering how the vows will play out too...
and even now when all of my friends have been married and now dicroced I wonder about how this strange thing works and how it will play out in the long haul.
I haven't been to a wedding since disclosure & am not sure how I would handle it.
For me new-born babies are triggering as well. That is when my ex started acting out was after the birth of our son. In fact, he was even looking at pornography that same day when he was supposed to be home showering & letting the dog out.
Craziness...
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