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This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.
Resources
- What is sex addiction?
- Dr. Patrick Carnes' Web Site
- Sex, Love and Addiction - Dr Rob Weiss Podcast
- Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Don't Call It Love by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Seeking Integrity
- The Center for Healthy Sex
- S-Anon spouse/partner/family support group
- Co-SLAA spouse/partner/family support group
- CoSA spouse/partner/family support group
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron
- No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Writings of Anthony de Mello, SJ
- Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki
- Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik
- After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
About Me
- woman.anonymous7
- Woman. Late 50s. In a committed relationship with Husband for 34 years. Married in 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered for the first time June 1, 2007.
The Point of Marriage
"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Posts
6 comments:
That was an interesting article. The sentence that jumped out at me, and the reason I will show my husband this article, is the part about emotional abuse: "Most of them have been victims of some kind of emotional abuse as children. That means having a parent who derides you, constantly criticizes you or calls you names."
After 9 years of recovery, I had never heard the childhood trauma of an SA referred to in that way. It was always about sexual trauma, which my husband never experienced. However, his father used to give him a look that as a child my husband interpreted as, "I wish you had never been born." And both of his parents are very critical, although they try to express it as a matter of love and concern. My husband, his sibling, and I all called his parents on their criticism in the same week a few years ago, since then they have tried to keep their comments to themselves a bit more. You can actually see them biting their tongues. It's a little funny now, even though I wish it could erase the effects on his self-esteem that they caused when he was small. =(
Go Newsweek! :)
Surprisingly good article for a mainstream publication! Thanks for the link.
Thanks for finding this and posting it. Good article and hopeful as to a future society that acknowledges sex addiction.
Very good article! Its about time the realize this is a REAL addiction that hurts people and changes lives!!
Stay Up!
I'm glad that this is out there as well... The comments and remarks that I've heard and seen since Duchovny's announcement have been so disheartening - there is such ignorance out there about how serious and devastating this problem is.
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