The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Other impacts

I've been absolutely crazy at work for the past week catching up on things that I'm behind on because I've been unable to focus well until recently. I'm a project manager and I did only what I had to to get by for about 4 months, and now I'm feeling the repercussions of not planning ahead at work.

I'm also feeling anxiety, because some of Husband's frustration with me had to do with my being busy with work. I feel like I shouldn't be busy, and having all this coming down now makes me stressed out and anxious.

I discussed this with Husband, who tried to reassure me that the problem wasn't my business, but his inability to talk about his feelings about it that caused his resentments. I'm trying to process that so I can let go of the stress, but I still have a pit of worry in my stomach.

Back to work now.


thejunkyswife said...

Yuck to pits of worry. I've got quite a pit, too...this pit is different, but I know that pit you've got. I am never sure how much it helps when I know it's not my business. I'll get all stressed out that something I'm doing will affect my husband and give him an (excuse) urge to use. Because I'm in recovery, I know that I don't create that problem--but instead of letting the thought go, I tend to dwell on something like, "Why can't I do my recovery right? Why am I still worrying about how what I'm doing is affecting him? Why do I do everything wrong?" and etc.

But that's only in the dark times. Other times, I'm able to let it go, like for real.

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