The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Ten Years Ago Today

These are the promises we made to each other 10 years ago today:

I love you and I promise to cherish and respect you;
To give you kisses and hugs every day; to caress and to soothe you;
To listen to you and communicate with you; to give back rubs and foot rubs;
To be honest and tender and trustworthy and sexy;
To always laugh at your jokes;
To have fun and enjoy every moment with you;
To always look for the greatness within you;
To provide an embrace of love and confidence in which you can be exactly who you are;
And to discover you anew every day for the rest of my life.

They are still the promises I'd want to make today.

Neither of us have kept all these promises. And what we're going through now gives us a chance to honestly assess where we've fallen short in holding up our agreements, to decide whether we're still commited to these promises, and to restore what needs to be restored in order to have the relationship we want to have.

It's not over until we say it's over. That's definitely something to celebrate.


Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Happy Anniversary! We recently had our 10th as well. We wanted to rewrite our vows, update them for what marriage means to us now, but we haven't yet. I'm still mulling what I would want to say -- and what I could promise...

FI0NA said...

I'm not married to my SAB. But accepted his proposal just after disclosure. Have wondered why, but guess at the time I thought it would close that chapter on his life, and we could move on. It has proved harder for me than I thought, the other day in a heated discussion I brought out the line " and I'm not even sure if I want to marry someone like you". When he calmed down he said "and what was all that "Marrying" bullshit" (he clearly sees no difference between cohabiting and being married) I decided to let it drop, but later realised the difference is... and now I get to my point....THE VOWS. Like MaryPJones I am not sure what I can promise. If I can only be sure of myself and can't tell what is real and what is a lie from him....