The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Husband traveling

Another source of my heightened anxiety may be that Husband told me this morning that he may need to travel to Florida on business for a couple days next week. I've read some of his emails from his last trips to Florida when he tried to engage prostitutes and I know he went to strip clubs. (He even tried to get two women at once again on his last trip to Florida) So I'm nervous that this might trigger him again.

But I need to give into the fact that I can't control him. He will go and do what he does, and I will do what I do, and we'll see where that takes us I guess.

4 comments:

Stefanie said...

Have you asked your husband if he's imagined you with another man (and described in great detail the experience)? If so, how did it make him feel? I asked mine how it would make him feel to imagine me with another man and to put himself in my shoes. He didn't really get it, I don't think, or else he wouldn't let his mind go there. I just desperately want him to understand the pain, anxiety, insecurity, etc. that I'm feeling now, and don't know if he ever will. Maddening!
My therapist told me, if it's possible, to start traveling with him when he goes on trips! Can you do that? More money, I know, but could be an adventure for the family!

Crystal said...

It is a sad solution to think that we would have to spend the rest of our lives watching over a dishonest and unfaithful spouse. Watching over someone who cannot even feel enough empathy to put themselves in the shoes of their wife and understand the pain and wreckage they have caused.

I can completely understand how maddening it is that he doesn't get it. Maybe he doesn't have the capacity to "get it". By the way, there is a website called survivinginfidelity.com which has a lot of people in the same situation who can post messages and talk with eachother.

Stefanie said...

I checked out the website and found myself engrossed in it and had to finally walk away from it. Thank you for sharing it.

Stefanie said...

I checked out the website and found myself engrossed in it and had to finally walk away from it. Thank you for sharing it.