The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Met with a friend from S-Anon

It's great to have someone I can talk with in person so freely about what has happened, is happening. Still almost nobody knows about Husband's secret life, and I'm sure it will remain that way unless he decides to tell the world.

I've felt so lonely at times, it's good to be reminded that others going through this are experiencing this same "screaming abyss" and that we can draw comfort and strength from each other.

One of the things my friend and I talked about that particularly interested me is how our relationships with sex addicts are related to our family of origin. In my case, there was no sex addicted father, no alcoholic mom, no abuse of any kind that I remember. But there are patterns nonetheless that groomed us for the experiences we're having now. World views that denied us the tools we'd need to keep us out of these situations. A lack of respect for boundaries, for example. Or a world of absolutes, good and bad, right and wrong, just and unjust, that kept us poised "on the razor's edge of perfect."

All that family of origin stuff is just starting to open up for me, and yet I can see it's potency immediately if not completely.

1 comment:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

Darn. I'm jealous. I never made friends in S-Anon. I wish you lived close enough that we could go out together and talk about sex addiction (or not, sometimes it's fun to forget it for a while).