At my request Husband created a New Year's Eve ritual for us, which we did about an hour ago.
We took showers, then wrote down 3 limiting beliefs. We went outside to the fire pit and burned those 3 slips of paper. Then we came inside and rang our meditation bell 108 times and smudged the house with sage with the doors wide open.
The three limiting beliefs I burned:
- I am right.
- I'm too tired.
- I can handle life all by myself.
One of the things I'm so deeply grateful for this year is the community of people I've met and heard from online. Community with you has given me solace, strength and peace as I have faced the most difficult times of my life.
I wish all of you courage, strength, peace, happiness and love in 2008.
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This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.
Resources
- What is sex addiction?
- Dr. Patrick Carnes' Web Site
- Sex, Love and Addiction - Dr Rob Weiss Podcast
- Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Don't Call It Love by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Seeking Integrity
- The Center for Healthy Sex
- S-Anon spouse/partner/family support group
- Co-SLAA spouse/partner/family support group
- CoSA spouse/partner/family support group
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron
- No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Writings of Anthony de Mello, SJ
- Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki
- Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik
- After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
About Me
- woman.anonymous7
- Woman. Late 50s. In a committed relationship with Husband for 34 years. Married in 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered for the first time June 1, 2007.
The Point of Marriage
"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke
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2 comments:
I like that ritual. And I like the fact that you asked for (and got) what you needed. New Years was hard for me. I had to reboot, twice! Ended up doing my own ritual after midnight, and toasted myself alone.
That's a beautiful ritual. I'll have to think about my limiting beliefs. I imagine it will be hard to limit them to just three. ;)
I'm glad you're here and that we found each other. Best to you in 2008.
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