The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

He came home last night

Despite my fears, Husband continues to show by his actions that he is becoming a different person.

I was at Sophia's last night for our weekly visit when he called to tell me he'd gone to a friend's birthday celebration at a restaurant downtown. It was 11pm, and he called because I said I'd be home around 11 and he wanted to let me know where he was. He said he'd be leaving in about half an hour.

I'd heard that before, but in the past half hours often turned to hours when he couldn't bear to bring himself to leave before the party/event/evening ended in case something great happened. Some once-in-a-lifetime experience that was not to be missed. And then he'd have to stop at a drive through window on the way home (a ritual unbeknownst to me until recently.) So he was often later than he said he would be.

And this particular day we'd talked about making love at night, so I was acutely aware that he might be choosing to stay out rather than come home to me.

So I decided to assume he'd be late, take the edge off with a scotch on the rocks, and then meditate and go to bed. I get that scotch and meditation are a crazy combo, but it felt like the right medicine for my growing sadness.

I hopped in the shower so I'd be ready to make love just in case he came home. As I was drying my hair, my painful sadness growing every moment, I heard his voice asking where I was. I stood there, still, as I took it in. He really did it. He really came home when he said he would. He didn't linger, one more drink, one more conversation, just in case. He really wanted to be with me, and he came home.


Rae said...

I'm happy he came home to you -- happy for both of you.

I feel deep hurt when I read your blog ... hurt for you and for him, and for all I have done to hurt others and myself.

It may sound weird, but I'm thankful you are here.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I'm so glad for that moment. Thanks for sharing it. I love those moments when I see growth, when I see that things are different, that we are changing together.

thejunkyswife said...

It brought the silliest tears to my eyes to read that. Like MPJ, I'm so familiar with that moment, and all the anxiety leading up to it.

Heather said...

I love the thoughtfulness in your writing. I feel so much sadness and confusion in your posts, but also a sense of guarded hope. Your love for your husband shines through. I was so glad when I read that he came home to you.