Monogamy

Sophia told me today about this dating site that is for married people looking to have affairs. I went and checked it out. Their slogan is "When monogamy becomes monotony."

I've never been a prude, but the thought of such a service makes me sick to my stomach. Something that encourages secret lives, not taking responsiblity for what you really want in life, deception, lying...ugh...I just think it's awful.

Not that I haven't considered it since I found out about Husband's betrayal. But so many of the testimonials were from people who sounded desperately unahppy or deluded.

Maybe monogamy isn't natural. I don't know...

I think it's a choice, a decision, and one that takes courage. It seems easier to say "I"ll have you, and then I'll have someone else, too, when the inclination strikes me." If you say you'll be monogamous, you're trusting that the other party will do the same (I hope - I'm definitely not for unilateral monogamy unless that's what you really want). You're saying you'll give up unknown pleasures and good times on faith. I think that takes courage. Because you might get f'd over. Your partner might cheat or even discard you. It is a risk.

I feel so judgemental right now. I think I'm reacting. Reacting to my own pain. I know some people participate in responsible non-monogamy. The guy I was exchanging emails with on Salon personals was doing that (both he and his spouse - that's part of the deal.)

Anyway, clearly this has pushed my buttons. I'm going to think more about the meaning and value of monogamy.