Can't sleep. Can't stop the thoughts, the questions, the pain in my heart. I used to fall asleep easily, but now I have trouble. I can fall asleep on the couch, but when i get into bed, the thoughts, questions and pain come back. Maybe it's because I'm alone in this room I used to share with the Addict. I got a new mattress, but my memories are still here. Memories of us, together, in this room.
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This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.
Resources
- What is sex addiction?
- Dr. Patrick Carnes' Web Site
- Sex, Love and Addiction - Dr Rob Weiss Podcast
- Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Don't Call It Love by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Seeking Integrity
- The Center for Healthy Sex
- S-Anon spouse/partner/family support group
- Co-SLAA spouse/partner/family support group
- CoSA spouse/partner/family support group
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron
- No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Writings of Anthony de Mello, SJ
- Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki
- Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik
- After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Blog Archive
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2022
(46)
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January
(21)
- Swimming in grief
- All the lasts
- Once again, I can't believe this is my life
- A hard day trying to keep it together for work
- Insomnia
- So lonely
- Obliviously selfish
- Once an addict, ALWAYS AN ADDICT
- What could I have done?
- A nightmare I could wake up from
- Feeling it all
- The Addict moved out today
- Constant pain and anger
- Today's stream of consciousness
- Life after us
- Dealing with normal when nothing is
- It still hurts
- This time is different
- The truth about being married to a sex addict
- It's quiet
- Boundaries: A Users Guide, Chapter I
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January
(21)
About Me
- woman.anonymous7
- Woman. Late 50s. In a committed relationship with Husband for 34 years. Married in 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered for the first time June 1, 2007.
The Point of Marriage
"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke
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