I know this is not healthy thinking, but I keep wondering what I could have done differently to keep this from happening. How could I have been a better wife and partner? More present? More compassionate? A better listener? Less of a perfectionist, less demanding? And I know none of these failings justify the Addict's decision to lie and betray me in all the ways he did. But, alone in the middle of the night, I still wonder.
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