The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Husband's thoughts on the choice I need to make

Last night as we lay in bed, Husband asked me how I was. I told him I was okay, but that I was really still coming to terms with the fact that in order to choose to be with him, I also have to choose to be in relationsihp with the addict as well. He said, "I have another idea. How about being in a relationship with a recovering sex addict?"

I hadn't thought of it that way. Maybe that's the actual choice: Husband, the person I knew and loved and married; and the recovering addict who has been brought out of hiding and who is seeking support. I have to ask my therapist about this approach. I still don't know whether or not I'm fooling myself - or how to figure out if I'm a mature adult working out something with someone I love who is important to both me and my son, or if I'm just a co-dependent who can't walk away from an unhealthy situation. But Husband is doing everything he can to address the issues. He's passed 30 days sobriety in both SAA and OA. I told him yesterday that I believe he can do it, one day at a time. So I think for now I'll say we're mature adults, working out the issues in our lives one day at a time, together.

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