The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I need to see my therapist...NOW!

Husband just called...from his car I think. To tell me he loves me and that he really wants us to work it out and that if it doesn't, he'll still love me.

The sound of his voice was so welcomed. I realized I was beginning to wonder if he really cared if it works out. I'm scared of him now...scared that I don't know what's important to him anymore. It's good to hear that he really wants us to work. I've been worried that he's just trying to land the ultimate "I got away with it." Not consciously, but in his smart, arrogant, narcissistic sub-conscious. He's so smart that always gotten away with skating by before. But he has his first appointment with a therapist tomorrow, so maybe he'll have a chance to start sorting that out.

As for me, I'm counting the minutes until my next appointment. I need some relief and that's my only safe place. Some people live like this all the time. Feeling alone, feeling unsafe. How do they do it?

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