The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My healing, his healing, our healing

I'm conflicted about how to both give my husband what he seems to need in order to heal his hurts and anger, and protect myself at the same time. I have to ask my therapist about this.

I continue to consider meeting the person I found on personals. Part of me wants to go before I can give it too much serious thought and reason my way out of it. And part of me wants to wait because I may just be reasoning my way into it right now, and trying to rush before I can think more clearly.

My almost constant state of arousal has subsided, although it's still right there for me. I like this access to my sexuality. I want to keep that. I think for me it's a state of mind, an approach to life and to myself, rather than a physical state. So now that I've discovered it, I think I'll be able to nurture and explore that part of me. And also, listen. Listen to husband as a lover. That's a part of it, too.

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