There's definitely some anger in there.

Completed a writing assignment for my sketch group last night, and reaized I do have some anger inside me somewhere.

The assignment was to write a sketch starting with the two words disquisition and finish.

Disquisition: A formal discourse or treatise in which a subject is examined and discussed.

Finish: To bring (something) to an end or to completion; to use completely; destroy or kill.

So here's what I wrote:

Disquisition/Finish

Jane, Andy and Therapist sit in an office. It’s couples therapy.

Therapist
Have you both brought your letters?

Jane & Andy
Yes.

Therapist
Good. Now I see this as a safe way to communicate, to get your feelings out. It's just a letter...right. It's not a knife, it's not a gun, it won't kill you. It's just words on a page. Right?

Jane
I guess so.

Andy
Sure.

Therapist
Good. Andy, why don't you go first.

Andy
Uh, okay. (clears throat) Dear Jane - I'm sorry I screwed your best friend. (looks up scared, like he’s waiting to get bitch-slapped)

Therapist
Good, Andy. Go on.

Andy
(clears throat again)
Even though we were the two people you trusted most in the world, and we shattered that trust shaking the very foundation upon which the rest of your life is based, I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. I hope you'll be able to forgive me. You are the most wonderful person in the world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope you'll be able to feel that way again too. Love, Andy.

Therapist
Very good Andy. How do you feel?

Andy
Better. I feel better. I feel like I really got to tell Jane I'm sorry, and let her know how much I love her. I'm hopeful about the future, and about the possibility of sharing the rest of our lives together.

Therapist
Good, Andy. Very good. Jane?

Jane
Uh, I think I got the assignment wrong.

Therapist
There is no wrong Jane. It's just your feelings, just words on a page. Feelings are not wrong, they're just what's so for you right now.

Jane
But...

Therapist
Go ahead, Jane. Don't be afraid. It's safe here.

Andy
Yeah, honey. It's okay.

Jane
(still uncomfortable)
Alright. Alright. Uh...Dear Andy. Uh, every night I dream of you. I dream that I disembowel you with my bare hands, cut you up into pieces, roast your testicles over hot coals and feed them to a pack of crazed, naked women dancing around a fire pit screaming chants that dam you to hell for eternity. Then I wake up and you're still alive and I go into the bathroom, throw up, and then have a shot of tequila to numb the pain of knowing you’re still breathing.
(looking doubtfully at the Therapist)
Am I getting this right?

Therapist
That’s beautiful, Jane. Very authentic. I think you should continue to explore those feelings. Andy? Do you have anything to say?

Andy
(he looks crushed)
Uhhhhh.....no?

Therapist
Then I guess we're done for today.

Jane
(lets out a deep breath of relief)
Thank you, Doctor. I do feel much better.
(she applies a fresh coat of lipstick, combs her hair as the scene continues)

Therapist
(gravely and ceremoniously presents a box)
Andy, this box represents the past. You can put your letter
in here, and put the past behind you. You can empower yourself to create
something new with Jane.

Andy puts his letter into the box.

Therapist
Jane, would you like to put your letter into the box?

Jane
(puts the letter into her purse)
I think I’m going to keep mine for right now.

Therapist
That’s fine. You can take that step when you’re ready, Jane.

Andy
That doesn’t seem fair

Therapist
Jane will take that step when she’s ready, Andy. Okay?

Andy
(doesn’t know what else to say)
Okay.

Therapist
See you two next week?

Andy
(looks to Jane, frightened)
I...think...so...right, sweetie?
(laughs uncomfortably)
Just...words on a page.

Therapist
Jane?

Jane
(puts on a pair of sunglasses)
Well. You'll see one of us.

She takes her purse and rises.

Jane (cont'd)

(to Andy)
Now this is what I call a happy ending.
(to Therapist)
Bye Doctor.

Jane leaves. Long pause as they both take in what just happened.

Andy
(he is clueless and perplexed)
Does that mean she doesn’t forgive me yet?

Therapist
What do you think, Andy?

Andy
I don’t know Doctor. I don’t know what to think.

Therapist
See you next week?

Andy
Yeah...(suddenly frightened)...I hope so.
(he goes to leave)

Therapist
Andy, don’t forget to hug yourself this week.

Andy gives himself a big hug.

Therapist
That’s right! Now get out of here you silly rabbit!

Andy
(smiles an eager smile)
Boing, boing, boing.
(hops out like a big bunny)

Therapist
What a fucking nutcase.


I wasn't sure if this was funny at all. Of course it's a huge open window into my life right now. I was worried about exposing a private matter. Fortunately nobody seemed to notice - there was no awkward silence after we read it. Which was good. And I got a laugh out of it.