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This is an open journal of my experience coping with infidelity and sex addiction. Or...What To Expect When You Weren't Expecting.
Resources
- What is sex addiction?
- Dr. Patrick Carnes' Web Site
- Sex, Love and Addiction - Dr Rob Weiss Podcast
- Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Don't Call It Love by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
- Seeking Integrity
- The Center for Healthy Sex
- S-Anon spouse/partner/family support group
- Co-SLAA spouse/partner/family support group
- CoSA spouse/partner/family support group
- When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
- The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron
- No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Writings of Anthony de Mello, SJ
- Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki
- Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik
- After the Affair by Janis A. Spring
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Blog Archive
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2007
(166)
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June
(46)
- Feeling sad again last night
- I broke my rule and made a promise
- Not even a lunch date is simple right now
- One relationship, two completely different experie...
- Co-addiction in action
- There's definitely some anger in there.
- Persephone
- Safety in numbers.
- My recovery?
- Things are feeling better
- Going to Sacramento today
- Who prostitutes are
- What's the point?
- S-Anon meeting tonight
- Test results, part two
- Test results, part one
- At Seattle Tacoma Int’l Airport
- Getting out of town.
- Things bubble up.
- Actions and feelings
- So this is how it's going to be.
- My healing, his healing, our healing
- More thoughts to my husband
- Married woman still seeking clarity, not so sure a...
- My first Alanon meeting and thoughts about trust
- More about STD testing
- STDs
- Married Woman seeks clarity, and maybe some fun on...
- So I'm crazy...
- Feeling more normal at work today.
- And now...the bad news.
- Still figuring out what happened.
- Write what you know.
- Figuring out what happened.
- The thing that remains on my mind now.
- Almost noon and I still feel okay
- Today has started out as a good day
- Scotch v. Pain
- I need to see my therapist...NOW!
- A strange ride
- Every day is different
- I'm now someone who sees a therapist.
- To me from Husband
- To my husband
- There are no escort services for women
- The beginning of something else
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June
(46)
About Me
- woman.anonymous7
- Woman. Late 50s. In a committed relationship with Husband for 34 years. Married in 1997. Husband started seeking out lap dances to orgasm around 1994/95, hand jobs and blow job from prostitutes around 2001 when I was pregnant. Intercourse with prostitutes began in 2003, and was discovered for the first time June 1, 2007.
The Point of Marriage
"The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Posts
1 comment:
rob - I'm sorry to hear about your difficulty, and your pain.
It's been over a year, and while I feel I'm through the most painful part of things, there is still a lot of work for me to do as an individual, and for Husband and I to do as a couple.
Husband and I have been attending 12-step groups for sex addicts (SAA)and their partners (S-Anon) for over a year now. To my knowledge, he has not had sex with prostitutes since April 21, 2007; and only because he's in recovery do I believe him.
Getting outside support is an important first step. Only then will you be able to begin to sort out what is the right thing for you to do given your individual circumstances and who you are.
Feel free to keep in touch via email and my blog.
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