The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

So I'm crazy...

I opened an account on the personals today. I don't know what motivated me. Curiosity mostly I think. And the first profile I viewed was startling - exactly what I'm looking for, pretty much exactly what I am. He's sexy, married, loves his wife, has amazing sex with her, not looking for a romantic relationship. They're in an open, committed, responsible non-monogamous relationship.

I share most of this as well, but the one problem is I just found out about my husband's infidelity. So I'm questioning my own motives. My friends think I'm "doing crazy things" so I have to be careful. Maybe I'll wait 6 months and see if I'm still thinking about doing this.

Today was better. I emailed husband and didn't hear from him all day, and of course my heart was anxious. I don't want to live like that forever. Maybe that's why I opened the personals account. Maybe I was responding to my fear that husband was having sex with someone else. I don't know. So, yes...I'm feeling crazy.

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