The Beginning of Something Else

On June 1, 2007 I found out my husband and partner of almost two decades had been unfaithful to me since before our marriage, and had been having intercourse with prostitutes for 3 1/2 years. This is what happened next.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Was feeling sad all day today. Not weeping, just down and a bit empty. Happy that it was Monday. Therapist day.

Made love with husband last night, and for the first time felt disconnected. All the other times have been for some reason or another, with strong feelings associated. But last night felt different. I couldn't get out of my mind the thought of him with other women. It's so odd, because I don't feel like a moralistic person. But I think this doesn't have to do with sexual or cultural morality, but more with the trust that I had in him. It was a childlike trust, I realized today. The kind of trust my son has in me. A fearless trust.

My therapist said that she thinks I'm having my Persephone moment, in which the young goddess loses her youthful innocence.

This is the Persephone story:

It was a beautiful day like all the others in this land, the sun shone brightly in the sky, the hills were lush and green, and flowers blossomed from the earth. The lovely young maiden, Persephone, frolicked with her friends upon the hillside, as her mother Demeter sat near by, and her father Zeus peered down from the sky above. Laughter could be heard in between the young girls' whispered secrets, as they gathered handfuls of purple crocuses, royal blue irises and sweet-smelling hyacinths. Persephone thought to bring some to her mother, but was soon distracted by a vision of the most enchanting flower she had ever seen. It was a narcissus, the exact flower her father hoped that she would find. As she reached down to pluck it from its resting place, her feet began to tremble and the earth was split in two. Life for Persephone would never be the same again. - From The Myth of Persephone: Greek Goddess of the Underworld Original Story and Interpretation by Laura Strong, PhD.

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