Married Woman seeks clarity, and maybe some fun on the side

Husband and I made love again last night. We've been having more sex over the last week and a half than we've had for years. I've been in a heightened state of arousal since I found out about the prostitutes. I don't know if this is from anxiety and emotional chaos, or if I'm turned on in some way by the images in my head (because I do have images, partly based on the descriptions in his reviews, partly made up in my own imagination.) My thinking is that I've been wanting sex for many reasons. For comfort, for a feeling of intimacy that I've felt I lost, out of anger, a need to dominate and feel the power of my sexuality, to release emotion, because I've been entertaining thoughts of sex with other people, because I've wanted to give love and comfort to my husband, because I wanted to feel what is there now. But maybe I'm really just trying to compete with prostitutes on some level - to show my husband what he has.

My therapist says she detects some sexual confusion. I think that's an accurate observation. When I went over to my girlfriend's house two nights ago, we were talking about our differnt sexual experiences in the context of discussing what has happened with my husband. I'd had about half a bottle of wine, and was in this heightened state of arousal I mentioned above. And I actually asked her if she wanted to make out. At the time I was thinking it would be a safe, fun distraction. We'd both expressed in the conversation that we knew we preferred men, but were open to experiences with women. It seemed logical at the time to ask. Thankfully my dear friend had her wits about her enough to say no. In the moment it was a bit of a rejection. But after I've had time to reflect, I think I'm lucky that one of us had clarity.